Beer and Pavement

Assholes who just wanna get laid

Posted in Life by SM on June 24, 2010

Disclaimer: This was a half-assed attempt to get a post out this week. It’s a topic that’s been on my mind a lot and another blogger has sparked some ideas I wanted to explore. Also, there’s more profanity than I usually produce in a blog post. This blog should return to some normal posting come next week.-builderofcoalitions

I use the term “hipster” a lot. It’s lazy. As one friend put it, it strips people of their humanity. While that sentiment may be over the top, it is partially true. It lumps a bunch of people into a group based on how they dress and act or wear their hair or whatever.

I’m fine with hipsters. I don’t have a problem with hipsterdom. Every generation has them. There were the punks before the no-wave kids who quickly gave way to those in the hardcore scene and the straight-edgers. Then everyone was grunge until it was cooler to be an indie geek and then I lost touch and didn’t really care.

Suddenly, along comes the hipster. It’s more of an idea than it is a person1, but the term quickly morphed into a label for a certain kind of young person.

Carrie recently ranted about the hipster, or rather the term “hipster” when self-applied. To over-simplify and pseudo-paraphrase her post2 and the resulting discussion in the comments, hipsters are basically just assholes trying to get laid. Sure, there are folks who look hipster and play hipster music who aren’t assholes3, but the point is a good one.

When one breaks down the idea of “assholes trying to get laid”, the separate parts are not all that bad. Assholes, believe it or not, are not terrible. You know where they stand (They’re assholes for Christ’s sake.) and sometimes it’s good to have one or two on your side. The other half of the term deals with folks just trying to get a little action4. Again, there’s nothing wrong with that. To be truthful, we all want to get laid at some point. It’s part of the human condition5.

The problem happens when you put the two together. Assholes just trying to get laid is a dangerous combination6. They will sell their soul for a roll in the hay and how that affects others doesn’t matter. They’ll do almost anything for sex and someone ultimately experiences something superficial, gets hurt, or worse.

Assholes trying to get laid aren’t just hipsters. It’s this reason we use “frat boys” or “sorority girls” as derogatory terms7. Greek co-eds aren’t necessarily bad people. It’s when they make the decision to be assholes all in the name of a little bang-bang when things get ugly.

So, in summation, the problem with the hipster is that he/she is really just an asshole trying to get laid. The clothes are cool. I like the music, but the egotistical conquest of others’ genitals is not cool.

Image Source: I totally lifted this from excellently voyeuristic Look at the Fucking Hipster. LATFH could totally sue me, except that I don’t make any money from this shitty blog.

Update: We’re all assholes who just want to get laid.

1For more on this, check out the Adbusters’ piece on hipsters. Basically, the problem with hipsters is their misappropriation of some pretty cool/progressive/revolutionary kinds of things, i.e. green living, Che Guevara, indie rock, etc. and all in the name of being cool.
2And really to do no justice to her intellectual property…She just gave me an idea for a post, made me think about hipster in a new way.
3Some of these people are my friends. They really aren’t assholes.
4You will learn shortly that I am awkward when it comes to using alternative terminology for “having sex”. It will either come out naive or gross or cheesy or all three. So, I’m not even going to try.
5This is a major reason the priesthood and nunnery are so fucked up. Of course these people are going to make terrible judgments in sexuality when they are deprived of human urges. Granted child abuse is not usually a sexual thing, but rather a power issue. But isn’t it a power the church holds over these people that they can’t partake in a natural part of life? I’m not defending the creeps who molest children, but something has to change. I could go on, but I am way off track now.
6It’s even worse when assholes actually get together and make more little assholes. Who needs that?
7Among many, many others. The point here is to use a group (college Greeks) as an example on the opposite end of the social spectrum whom we readily critique their oversexed asshole tendencies.

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12 Responses

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  1. doublewordscore said, on June 25, 2010 at 12:09 am

    I hear a lot of talk about hipsters, but the movement hasn’t made its way out here yet. I’m secluded, but the nearest city seemed hipster free last time I went, and the next to nearest city had some hipsters, but they seemed harmless enough. I’ve only been to that city once; it’s a long drive, so maybe I haven’t had enough exposure to the hipster in their element. I’ve read a lot about them but not much beyond their dubious fashion choices and penchant for PBR. Is there something in their personality that makes them difficult to be around? Is the hipster movement a real phenomenon or is it something that gets exaggerated by analysis of the lifestyle–that is, are there more hipsters than there are blog posts about the hipster movement?

    • builderofcoalitions said, on June 25, 2010 at 7:07 am

      This post was more about assholes wanting to get laid and that’s what separates hipsters from people in cool clothes listening to cool music or something like that. So, to answer your question, assholes who just want to get laid are difficult to been around. They’re as old as time itself. It’s just that today’s asshole wears skinny jeans, a t-shirt with a wolf howling, and guzzles PBR while riding his fixed gear bike. I hope this clears it up for you.

      • doublewordscore said, on June 25, 2010 at 8:02 am

        They are real! We have PBR and wolf t-shirts out here, but the products are unburdened by irony.

        I’m intrigued by this hipster phenomenon. Do they hang out in large packs? Are they rowdy, and if so is the rowdiness just a way of masking how self-conscious they are about their fashion choices? If I were to drop by Ninth and Broadway, how many would I see? Would I see more or less at the mall?

  2. Jeff said, on June 25, 2010 at 12:11 am

    The amount of effort you put into talking about hipsters is starting to creep me out.

    • builderofcoalitions said, on June 25, 2010 at 7:09 am

      You’re not the first person to say this. I was going to leave them alone, but Carrie had to write her post. It got me thinking, “Maybe it’s not about fitting the hipster stereotype. Maybe it’s about assholes wanting to get laid.” That’s all. If it really creeps you out that much, I can drop it.

      • Jeff said, on June 26, 2010 at 11:07 am

        I think this shows that you’re growing.

        Eventually you’ll realize that we’re ALL just assholes wanting to get laid. And you will shed your prejudice like a beautiful Monarch butterfly sheds it’s cocoon.

  3. Steve said, on June 25, 2010 at 4:04 am

    I work pretty close to hipster central in London, and in my day-to-day life know my fair share of hipsters and assholes. I think you may have nailed the issue here, but there are broader issues for me too.

    The worst kind of hipster for me (after the getting laid variety) is the hipster who makes every effort to look different and outlandish, looks down on the ‘non’ hipster masses, but then whinges and whines about being treated differently and being an outsider. You are white, middle-class and have no money worries. You are not being persecuted, asshole. You’re just a dick with a stupid moustache and haircut, who thinks it is an expression of identity to dress like it is 1983, and is patronising to everyone who isn’t an identikit version of you.

    Phew. That felt better!

    (Oh, and the ‘you’ is aimed at generic hipster #54, not anyone personally!)

    • builderofcoalitions said, on June 25, 2010 at 7:13 am

      No, I got it. Well put. The trouble is when we lump folks into the hipster category without evidence of their assholeness. I don’t think that’s what you did, Steve. I just think that’s the clear distinction between someone with the stereotypical hipster aesthetic and the true hipsters who are really just the assholes you and I have attempted to describe.

      Thanks for continuing to stop by. I still eagerly await that post you owe me. At least both our teams are still alive. (Look at that. Now they’re my team. I think it’s the never-say-die attitude or some other bullshit.)

  4. Steve said, on June 25, 2010 at 7:54 am

    I like it around here – you won’t be getting rid of me easily!

    I’m onto the post – just need to give it the time that it surely deserves.

    As for the USA – they have a fair chance of making the semi-finals. Certainly a better chance than England do.

  5. Carrie said, on June 25, 2010 at 5:22 pm

    sometimes I feel like you wouldn’t blog half as much if I did not blog.

    It’s cool though, it makes me feel so much more important than I actually am.

    I think your exploration of the topic is pretty apt…there’s nothing wrong with assholes and there’s nothing wrong with getting laid, but when you combine the two it is insufferable.

    I think that pretty much concludes this section of the hipster debate–and why they seem to bother us so much.

  6. ATR said, on June 27, 2010 at 1:08 pm

    boc, you always get me to thinking. I don’t know if you get me to thinking about the things that are the purpose of your posts, but, like I tell the churlen…any thinking is appreciated.

  7. […] like getting into at this point. All you should know is that being a hipster is relative and that we’re all hipsters compared to […]

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