Beer and Pavement

Dudes with Beards

Posted in Intersections, Life, Manifesto by SM on December 24, 2010

I’ve been giving this a lot of thought[1]. What connects dudes with beards? Why grow hair on your face?

One interesting insight from the comments under my original beard post was this:

We were out at a beer event the other night and a non-beer friend remarked on the correlation of beards on beer people. It’s pretty strange, but I’ve noticed it before as well.

[the beard] brings all the girls to the yard.

While I’m not sure the beard actually “brings all the girls to the yard” in the same manner as my milkshake[2], it is interesting that so many bearded faces are those of beer folk. I mean, the examples are endless, just look below…



And, since I focus this blog on indie rock as well, the beards in that scene are just as prevalent…

And there are guys who are just funny/bad-ass who sport beards…

So, what connects all these men? Is it sheer animal magnetism? Is it a shortage of razors? Are they putting extra testosterone in our Wheeties?

Honestly, I think we just like how it looks, makes us feel. Imperfections are easily covered. Our faces never grow cold while out wassailing. WE DON’T HAVE TO SHAVE.

In the end, does it really matter[5]?

Apparently, it does. This is now my second post on the subject[6]. Nearly everyone I run into comments on the beard. They either like it or they don’t. And for whatever reason, they feel the need to share their opinions on my facial hair. It’s as if I’m pregnant and everyone’s commenting on how large I’ve grown while they rub my belly and eyeball that bottle of whiskey and carton of cigarettes in my shopping cart.

The funny thing is that I’ll probably shave the thing off at some point mostly out of boredom. Every time I’ve shaved a beard in the past, it’s primarily to do with boredom. I’ll be done with it eventually.

But for now, it seems to be a hot-button topic here at Building Coalitions. What are your thoughts on beards? What’s the connection between beards? Why does a “beard” also refer to a partner of the opposite sex whose only purpose is to make you seem straight?

As always, comment below and provide me content.

1Not really, but I couldn’t sleep and wanted to blog about something.
2My partner does not like it, but she’s tolerating it. For now. My kid loves it, but I may grow tired of her ever-improving grip.
3Yes, the Dude appears to be humping a Sam Adams’ Infinium. I plan to drink and review my own bottle sans fornication.
4Whiskey-drinking bro.
6And most likely last. At two posts, this is already overkill.

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7 Responses

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  1. Carrie said, on December 24, 2010 at 8:26 am

    Have you been awaiting my thoughts on beards?

    I’m sure you have.

    I’m pretty indifferent to beards in general. I like them from time to time, but my history in men indicates no preference either way for beard or no beard, I’ve been attracted to both bearded and non-bearded gentlemen.

    I think men should explore their facial hair options if they have the capability to grow a decent beard (in other words, not a patchy pube beard). It’s an option I often wish I had, but instead I just wear different scarves (silk, knitted, but never some keffiyah shit, etc) because they’re like beards for women.

  2. Alan McClure said, on December 24, 2010 at 8:30 am

    Beards are good; I really like them. It IS odd how polarizing they are though. My wife doesn’t like my new fuller beard, calling it caveman-like. I remember a girl telling me, when I was a freshman in high school–long before I could grow a beard, but would have liked to–that she’d never date a guy with facial hair, which seemed so contrary to my adolescent reasoning and understanding of “cool.” Then, recently my NYC rep told me that someone, after seeing the new Patric packaging with my ugly mug on the front, commented that he’d never buy a bar of chocolate made by someone with a beard! Definitely a WTF kind of moment when I heard that one.

    • builderofcoalitions said, on December 24, 2010 at 9:39 am

      Then that dude doesn’t want good chocolate.

    • partoftheprecipitate said, on December 24, 2010 at 10:35 pm

      I am assuming she was a freshman in high school as well?

      Perhaps age has changed her opinion in men. Most likely to something age appropriate. Call her up and ask how she feels about beards now. I will call if you are too embarrassed.

  3. Pizza Cottontail said, on December 24, 2010 at 10:31 pm

    A couple nights ago, I had a dream that I’d grown about a week’s worth of stubble then shaved it all off but found out that I missed a spot. It was more than a spot that I missed, actually; it was more like I didn’t shave anywhere above my cheeks or below my Adam’s apple.

    Anyway, I woke up yesterday and saw that you’d blogged about beard growing. The scary thing is, the parts that I missed in the dream look uncannily like the Yin to your beard’s Yang.

    I wanted to comment about it yesterday but it didn’t seem appropriate. Now that you’ve blogged a second time about beards, I feel like you need to know about my beard dream.

  4. Justin said, on December 29, 2010 at 7:01 pm

    I grew a beard once. In the summer. It had it’s own myspace and wrote bad poetry and made silent films. I think it still exists. The page, not the beard.

    Also, once I grew a goatee and I made it ironic by starting all my conversations by saying that I had started taking goat’s milk in my tea, as opposed to regular milk. I called this new beverage…

    Now that’s irony. sort of.

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