Beer and Pavement

Too Old for Music

Posted in Life by SM on January 12, 2011

I’m 35, married, and a parent, but I somehow do alright when it comes to keeping up with music. I receive about a record a week. My pace of seeing bands live over the years has hardly slowed despite my move to a sleepy college town. My RSS reader is loaded with music sites and blogs. I keep up.

Still, I somehow feel music is passing me by. Many of the bands I follow are either from the nineties or sound like they’re from the nineties[1]. There are a load of shows set to fill the coming months, but I’m just not that enthused about any of them. Is this where I slow down with my music obsession? Is this where I grow out of it?

Granted, slowing down doesn’t equate giving up music forever. No one’s actually too old for music. However, it certainly becomes less important as one grows older. Plus, a downward trend has to start somewhere. Is this where I lose interest?

I was recently shopping in my favorite record store[2],, for pre-orders coming out in early 2011. To my chagrin, few excited me. The records were either by bands I’ve purchased in the past who underwhelmed or bands I have never heard of. The first issue is an effect of buying so many records over the course of my fanaticism[3]. That, I can live with, but it does limit my options. The second issue is mostly a case of me no longer reading half the music blog posts that hit my Google Reader everyday. Sure, I’m paying way more attention to beer these days than I used to, but I’m just not that interested in buying new music.

Even the bands I did order, aren’t really that exciting. I ordered records by Danielson[4], Iron & Wine[5], Destroyer[6], and Bright Eyes[7]. All these bands have been around for a while. Danielson and Destroyer are difficult listens. Sure, they both can be brilliant at times, but I have to be in the right place to really connect with their music. Iron & Wine and Bright Eyes have been around forever and haven’t released anything that interesting for a long time. We’ll see, but I’m not expecting much.

Then, there’s the lineup of bands coming to town to play, not to mention bands stopping in nearby St Louis and Kansas City. Liz Phair[8], Tokyo Police Club, Cold War Kids, Tapes ‘n Tapes, Menomena, etc. are all playing town in the coming weeks and months. Meh. Most of these bands haven’t recorded anything worth listening to in years and the others are just plain uninspiring. Although I’m sure something worthwhile will come through town, I’ll at least save some money this winter.

So, what do I do? How do I regain some of that passion or at least my interest in music?

Well, the first step in this recovery is to return to what got me here: underground, often local, music. Someone was telling me about this motley group of musicians who get together and write songs in 48 hours just to turn around and have a shotgun battle of the bands. That sounded great, exhilarating. I had forgotten how many creative types and musicians just hang around college towns. Right after that, the same guy Facebook-invited me to a free show of locals at a club I frequent. Then, another friend invited me to a gig featuring his band. So, there are things to see and hear.

The hope is that I’ll regain my indie rock legs by going out to watch bands with a little more urgency and something new to say. That’s how I got into independent music. I went to crappy clubs and watched a lot of shitty local bands. Some of those bands were good or would have one good song. Still, the passion they put into playing for a sixer of PBR and a hangover the next morning was incredibly good for my soul.

Hopefully, I’ll have something to report in the coming weeks as I make myself go to clubs and watch some local bands for a change. It still kills me how out of touch I am with this scene. It’s time for that to change and for me to remember that I’m actually not too old for music[9].

1Even when they’re from the past decade, I’ve been listening for 8-10 years. That’s hardly new music.
2OK. So, a website doesn’t really constitute as a record store. However, when you live in a town without a good, physical facsimile of a record store, you do what you can. I’ve found that I can get any record I want from one website. I’m cool with that as I know there is a small group of kids trying to make this thing work. I can support that. I want Insound to be around for a while, maybe long enough to build real stores across the country…
3I am way more efficient a music buyer than I used to be. Now, I can get a sample of pretty much any band I want via the internet. That and the numerous blogs and music sites keep me pretty informed. It was never this easy in the nineties when you had to read zines and go to shows or watch MTV. (MTV used to show videos with music.)
4Hipster Christian you’re the only one.
5The beard is back with songs that sound more like the Eagles with every passing release.
6Always weird and easily the best New Pornographer, but this video and song aren’t doing it for me yet.
7Don’t give me a hard time over this one. I have a history with this band and I’m not ashamed to admit it.
8This one has already been postponed. I predict it won’t happen. I’m convinced I was never intended to see Liz Phair as every opportunity has passed me by in one manner or another. Nowadays, I’m not sure I would even want to see her live just to hear her crappy new material.
9But maybe Liz Phair is. JK, Lizzie! BFF’s 4eva! ❤ U!

112 Responses

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  1. Mikalee Byerman said, on January 12, 2011 at 10:01 am

    I still listen to Mix Tapes from high school ex-boyfriends. If that doesn’t date me, I don’t know what does…

    Great post. I wish you luck with your continued search!


    • builderofcoalitions said, on January 12, 2011 at 10:33 am

      I still have some mix tapes, so I know from where you’re coming. I wonder how many of my mixes are still floating out there.

      I checked out your blog. Ditto on the luck with the search/journey.

      • Mikalee Byerman said, on January 13, 2011 at 8:59 am

        My guess is: Many of your mix tapes are still floating around. I mean, we girls can’t get enough of the memories! 😉

        And thanks for the luck: funny enough, one of the mix tapes I still have is from my ex and contains sappy songs like “Lights” by Journey. I never listen to it — hell, I don’t even know where it is. But I know it’s out there, somewhere, lurking in the shadows…

  2. The Simple Life of a Country Man's Wife said, on January 12, 2011 at 10:09 am

    Ah, the city life. So much I don’t know about, yet somehow that works for me. I do enjoy our local country music singers who swing through every now and then, and the occasional Johnny Lang concert.

    • builderofcoalitions said, on January 12, 2011 at 10:34 am

      Yeah, the local scene is what I’m trying to get back to. There’s just so much more urgency and authenticity in the music your neighbors create as opposed to the music coming from elsewhere.

  3. Steve said, on January 12, 2011 at 10:15 am

    Wow! You made the WordPress front page! Congrats!

    I can certainly empathise with a lot of this. However, for me, getting older is just one factor. A decline in the weekly music press hasn’t helped me, nor a monthly music press that is in great part focused on the past. Also, there don’t seem to be so many ‘event’ albums. I remember when a new album coming out was a huge talking point. Now they are leaked months in advance, and physically buying an album isn’t so central. A new release doesn’t seem as exciting or important anymore.

    • builderofcoalitions said, on January 12, 2011 at 10:32 am

      I was wondering where all this new traffic was coming from. The funny thing is that I never visit WP’s front page. Pretty cool, I guess. Now, the pressure’s on to keep posting. There’s one in the works for Friday already.

      You’re right about the music press and the decline in “event” albums. It’s just not as much of a big deal and that’s an issue for someone like me who still buys records. Sure, I listen to leaks or previews of albums now and again, but I’m still working on the old model. Just you wait. When marriage and possibly kids enter the equation, these will be minor details.

  4. Ells said, on January 12, 2011 at 10:31 am

    As a 28 year old, I’m also still listening to stuff from the 90s and early 2000s but haven’t yet lost my eagerness for new music, despite finding that a lot of newer bands conform to a particular sound…

    I think that is because I know that there are masses of undiscovered talents out there, and getting out and being part of the local music scene reminds us of this. Connecting with your local music scene is definitely a great way of re-connecting with your passion for music.

    I would also say not to worry too much – music is one of those funny things; it’ll be boring for a bit but then a band or artist will come along and shake everything up!

    • builderofcoalitions said, on January 12, 2011 at 10:39 am

      “…music is one of those funny things; it’ll be boring for a bit but then a band or artist will come along and shake everything up!”

      This is so true. I think I went through this same sort of thing in the early aughts. I was buying crap music and was uninterested in trying anything new. Finally, I went to some local or even off-the-beaten-path gigs and found that passion again. Thanks!

  5. Martyn Cornell said, on January 12, 2011 at 10:31 am

    It IS a factor of getting old that up to 25 or so we’re still willing to listen to the 90 per cent of new music that’s crap (© Thomas Sturgeon) to find the 10 per cent that’s great. After that age, having to waste all that time listening to rubbish in the hope of findingh a rare gem that’s really good no longer interests us: we’ve found a good body of music and musicians we enjoy, and there are more important, urgent things to do with our time (and money) than listening to large amounts of stuff that makes us go “meh”. So it’s not just you …

    • builderofcoalitions said, on January 12, 2011 at 10:42 am

      Thanks. It’s true. We often turn to what comforts us. At least I know that I’ll listen to what I like and not waste as much time with the “rubbish.”

    • builderofcoalitions said, on January 12, 2011 at 10:45 am

      BTW, Martyn, I’ve stumbled across your blog a couple of times when searching out beer blogs. Thanks again for stopping by.

  6. Kathryn McCullough said, on January 12, 2011 at 10:32 am

    Great post–and congrats on being Freshly Pressed!
    Sending music from Haiti,
    (P.S. And please remember Haiti on this one year anniversary of the earthquake.)

    • builderofcoalitions said, on January 12, 2011 at 10:47 am

      Haiti is remembered. I posted on the relief effort a while back, one of the few “cause” posts I’ve done here. Thanks for commenting.

  7. thejamminjabber said, on January 12, 2011 at 10:38 am

    Sometimes I think I’m too old for music, but then I realize, I’m just too old for CRAPPY music. Suck it, youngins!

    • builderofcoalitions said, on January 12, 2011 at 10:48 am

      Right on. The market is oversturated at the moment and it’s hard to remember that. When I was a youngin, I devoured everything I could get my hands on. Times have certainly changed.

  8. Bill said, on January 12, 2011 at 10:39 am

    I really related to your post. I went through this phase many, many years ago. When I realized this I changed what I was listening to altogether. I quit listening to “rock” and picked up “country”. I found that there is always something out there I’ve not heard yet I would enjoy.
    I’m not saying country is for you but maybe you should try some Jazz, or maybe go back to your old blues roots. Google Chris Rea.
    I took a songwriters class in Nashville many years ago. I told my instructor that all the songs I write sound like John Prine. What should I do? He told me to go listen to something besides John Prine.
    Good luck man and keep looking. New music is out there.

    • Greg Streech said, on January 12, 2011 at 6:18 pm

      This is what I was going to say, sort of. The last two decades or so has been pretty lackluster for new sounds. I think this is really the problem. When growing up on music in the 80’s, there was always some new sound that got play. Not sure why, but today’s artists, and there are a lot of them, are for the most part uninspired.

      I was going to suggest a trying different genres. I personally found excitement and interest in very heavy metal of all things! Jazz or country may be your ticket.

      • builderofcoalitions said, on January 12, 2011 at 8:05 pm

        Yeah, I’m hearing a lot about trying other genres. I don’t think I really stick to any one genre, but I certainly stick to certain types of bands. I do remember the excitement that was the 80’s. Of course, back then, a lot of obscure stuff was being played on MTV. Remember them?

  9. Pizza Cottontail said, on January 12, 2011 at 10:45 am

    Front page! Mr. Big Time.

    I had the same problem with new music a couple years ago, mainly because it was all Animal Collective all the time. AC just doesn’t do it for me: I feel peer pressured into pretending to like them.

    A shift at the local community radio station cured me of my Avey Tare blues. I found lots of quality stuff that would otherwise hit the remainder bin or other stations’ free box; the stuff they give away at earth day festivals.

    • builderofcoalitions said, on January 12, 2011 at 10:50 am

      Thanks. I don’t know who decides these things, but I’m glad someone did. It makes me feel like three posts a week is totally worth it.

      Yeah, you have to take it all with a grain of salt. I have loved AC albums the past few years, but I’m not ga-ga for them. Let’s call it a “tempered fanaticism.”

  10. CrystalSpins said, on January 12, 2011 at 10:55 am

    This is probably aside the point, but I have never understood why being underground is so revered in music. Mainstream means that you have the platform and (hopefully) the art and message that speaks to a lot of people. That seems like any artists dream.

    Anyway, good luck. Regaining passion is always a noble venture in my opinion. Even if it has to happen underground.


    • builderofcoalitions said, on January 12, 2011 at 11:05 am

      No, I think it’s fair. If you search through my music posts, you’ll find that I don’t completely limit myself to the underground, but it’s where I developed my passion for music. It’s just so much more authentic and about the music as opposed to record sales and image. I know a lot of artists who don’t necessarily want fame and fortune. Those things are fleeting. Often what they want is a steady paying gig and a roof over their heads. That’s all.

      Still, thanks for commenting. Your observations certainly added to the discussion.

  11. […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Freshly Pressed and Laura Hargreaves, guavalicious. guavalicious said: Great blog post from @zacearly Oh Zac you're not too old for music; you're just old. […]

  12. jeffmenter said, on January 12, 2011 at 10:59 am

    “How do I regain some of that passion or at least my interest in music?”
    “The hope is that I’ll regain my indie rock legs by going out to watch bands with a little more urgency and something new to say.”
    “It still kills me how out of touch I am with this scene.”
    “It’s time for that to change and for me to remember that I’m actually not too old for music.”

    I think it’s possible that you’ve become a prisoner of your own paradigm. You seem to be judging yourself against either your former self or against this “indie rock acolyte platonic ideal.”

    Or you could just be noticing that you’ve lost some of the passion that you used to have and you want to get some of it back?

    Or, if we go further down the rabbit hole, perhaps what’s going on is that losing your passion for something that is fundamentally a youthful enterprise reminds you that your days are numbered and you are inching inexorably closer to the gaping maw of death itself. In which case I can only offer this quote on death:

    “As so long as we can be scared of that, and so long that we can made to think that death is a bad thing we can be ruled. That is why no government likes mystics. Because if we define the mystic as the person who is no longer scared of death. Because the mystic is in the simplest possible language the person who understands, that you have to have nothing to have something.

    So you can’t fundamentally scare the mystic with death. Say: What end can it all come to, what’s all the trouble about? The most it can come to is nothing.”

    —Alan Watts

    • builderofcoalitions said, on January 12, 2011 at 11:02 am

      OK. You’re thinking about it too much. I just want to see some bands.

      JK. I think all three of your points have validity. The true answer lies somewhere between the three.

  13. said, on January 12, 2011 at 11:05 am

    Put it all away and come back to it in a couple of years. It will sound fresh as ever then.

    • builderofcoalitions said, on January 12, 2011 at 11:08 am

      Yeah, I do that now and again. It’s what I appreciate about the iPod. Sometimes something comes up on shuffle or I notice something else as I’m scrolling through artists and I rediscover a great album. I won’t completely put it away, but revisiting an old favorite is a good idea.

  14. misterking23 said, on January 12, 2011 at 11:20 am

    If you like music, please check out my blog…I enjoyed reading this. I don’t think you can ever be too old for music. Music is for the soul, and aslong as you have one then the art will always be pleasent to your ears.

    Live music is also really cool, I think it’s the fact that the musicians have put so much effort into getting good at their instrument that makes it fun to watch them get into their zone. Rock N Roll baby…

  15. ferkung said, on January 12, 2011 at 11:22 am

    Wait, what’s your point? That if you listen to one very small subgenre, you’ll burn out? Well pshaw.

    The bands you list, Danielson[4], Iron & Wine[5], Destroyer[6], and Bright Eyes, Liz Phair[8], Tokyo Police Club, Cold War Kids, Tapes ‘n Tapes, Menomena, all all this crappy blogosphere-powered indie-pop… Which isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but why not expand your horizons? Then again, I put so little faith in anything put out by the music-industrial-complex that I might be biased…

    Check out Nico Mulhy, he should satisfy the same single-artist kick you have with bright Eyes. Another prolific gem who should keep you amused is John Zorn. Finally, Boris, a japanese sludge band, has only tightened and Americanized their sound… Recently, Charles Spearin did a killer jazz album called The Happiness Project.

    Finally, don’t worry about “new” music. If it’s new to you, then it’s new. Every time I turn on Pandora, I find at least one decent new (to me) band… Trawl wikipedia and allmusic for links to other bands. In the old, but good category, check out Spacemen 3 or Sun City Girls.

    I dunno. I find that most people who become bored of listening to music are simply not looking for music that they bemoan just isn’t there….

    • builderofcoalitions said, on January 12, 2011 at 11:27 am

      Thanks for the recs.

      Those bands aren’t necessarily my favorites. (Check the name of the blog.) Those are just the ones in my sphere of interest that either have records coming out or are stopping through in the near future. My boredom might have more to do with what’s available at the moment and less to do with me growing weary of music in general.

  16. I Made You A Mixtape said, on January 12, 2011 at 11:26 am

    I have found out to my suprise, that as I get older- my music taste has changed to a more indie/alternative genre from that of the mainstream pop, which always used to be my favorite. And I have become much more open minded about music. I do hark back to the goold ol’ times- and currently I’m going through a nostalgia trip of the 70s.. and there certainly are times when I think to myself- there is NOTHING out there to excite me- the (more often than not adolescent- I mean, seriously,Willow (Smith)- how old are you??? ) pop barbies just don’t do it for me anymore… nor can I relate (nor should I… I am after all *gasp* almost middle-aged). But there are bands out there… Hurts, Elbow, Adele, Cocknbullkid etc. who still make me believe in music… :o)

    • builderofcoalitions said, on January 12, 2011 at 11:30 am

      That is a very British take. (Totally meant as a compliment.) It’s true, there’s so much material out there I haven’t explored. Thanks for the comment and recs. Cheers!

  17. 1111 « V for Voracious Bobcat said, on January 12, 2011 at 11:30 am

    […] to music less and less. I find this incredibly dreadful and terrifying, especially after I read this post on […]

  18. J DUBBS said, on January 12, 2011 at 11:31 am

    i’m only 22 and i’m already sick of the music of my generation (the past few years anyways). i find myself listening to music from the 90s, 80s and i’m slowing pushing back to the 70s and 60s. but there are still a lot of amazing music just waiting to be discovered! i love being pleasantly surprised when i do find an amazing gem out there in the virtual space :]

    • Van11 said, on January 12, 2011 at 11:55 am

      I’m only a year younger, and I feel so much older reading this post already…great entry though!

  19. Steve said, on January 12, 2011 at 11:34 am

    As an ex musician I think part of the problem is lack of excellence in musicianship these days.

    The music is an afterthought in today’s entertainment much of the time.

    Lacking that real and sincere and urgent and from the heart and soul “transcending experience” great music is supposed to offer.

  20. nickhollot said, on January 12, 2011 at 11:37 am

    This music mid-life crisis was covered very beautifully by Nick Hornby in “High Fidelity,” when the main character realizes he no longer recognizes band posters put up on bulletin boards. The whole book is a reflection on growing up and how that relates to a love of music.

  21. PGMG said, on January 12, 2011 at 11:40 am

    Loved stumbling across your blog today on Freshly Pressed. I feel exactly the same way about music these days. So much so, that 2010 was the first year in a decade that I didn’t do a new album top ten. Whoa. But if it says anything about how my life/interests/spare time has shifted, I will be posting about my favorite books of 2010, and my favorite local bands of 2010. Our local music scene here in San Diego has saved me from completely giving up the search for new music altogether. I’m blessed to live in a city where there are so many great bands. Check my blog in the next few days for my local music of 2010 and hopefully you’ll find a few you enjoy, it appears that we share similar taste. Good luck!

  22. Lakia Gordon said, on January 12, 2011 at 11:47 am

    The 90s had some of the best music 🙂

  23. D.A. said, on January 12, 2011 at 11:52 am

    A good way to start is by stopping into seedy bars with musicians, having a cocktail, and regaining your love for the inane 🙂 OR sing something completely silly in the shower… 🙂

  24. fireandair said, on January 12, 2011 at 11:58 am

    I’m not entirely sure what the post is talking about — there’s always plenty of great music around to enjoy, it’s just that as you age, the stuff you like may no longer mark you as being a member of the Enviable Tribe. It depends on what you’re after ultimately — actually enjoying the music, or proclaiming the correct tribal membership. For most people who say that they like “music,” it’s the second thing they’re after, and the actual sound of the music itself is incidental at best.

    For me, getting older means I no longer try to hide the fact that I listen to music because of how it sounds and not because the right crowd of blue-haired kids with pierced nostrils listens to it. If that means I buy CDs of Elizabethan lute music, Baroque operas, and ELO then so be it.

  25. Sidewalk Muse said, on January 12, 2011 at 12:20 pm

    Hey you know what, though? I’m only twenty, and I gotta say, there’s nothing wrong with ’90s bands. 🙂 That was a good decade for music.

  26. misfit120 said, on January 12, 2011 at 1:00 pm

    It only gets worse. Not only will you eventually lose all taste for music, you’ll find yourself unable to understand it, feel that it’s way too annoying, and besides that you won’t be able to keep up with the new technology that plays music. Like eventually going to the doc and having a damn amp implanted into your ear with download music capabilities. Trust me here, this comes from a former disc jockey who played rock and roll for over 30 years on the air during the Chuck Berry to Beatles to Duran Duran era. Now, I simply download my own collection to an iPod and listen to stuff I can understand. When I’m in my vehicle…it’s NPR. All this is called evolution…..or….getting freakin’ too old to adapt. It’s not really that bad. Honest! Eventually you’ll die and get recycled and start all over again. The good news is by that time, music will have evolved into having a music gene implanted at birth with every conceivable song available at the touch of your nose. The bad news… BMI and ASCAP, who license all music, will charge you $5.00 per song.

  27. seejae said, on January 12, 2011 at 1:08 pm

    Yeah, I can definitely relate, but you can’t just chalk it up to age. It’s wisdom too. By now you have seen enough fads, trends, and scenes that you pretty much know how they work. For all the hub-bub surrounding any of these, there is ultimately one (maybe two) bands worth investing in. Perhaps you are more selective. I know I am. Anywho, local clubs are always a good means to peak your own interest. Good Luck.

  28. salt.maelstrom said, on January 12, 2011 at 1:43 pm

    The fact is that the industry is much larger then when we were in the unshaven army. I am pushing 40 and I can remember when choices were very limited. When we were in our teens, everything was thrown under the general alternative genre regardless if it was new wave, post-punk, or straight up punk. Today, there are so many subcategories that it is down right impossible to keep up.

    It is a great time to be an audiophile. The limitations that kept unsigned bands from turning out recordings have been lifted. Hell, the production by some skinny jean clad geek who has a knack for GUI based programs is starting to rival that of industry giants. The talent is slack jaw amazing. Sick, really sick.

    I would cease beating yourself up and reemerge yourself into the culture. Though the people are younger, it is the same as back in the late 80’s and early 90’s. Sure, you will get the stereotypical ‘know-it-alls’, but the majority of individuals will gladly share their love for obscure bands and pass along recommendations. In my opinion, word of mouth is the best way to discover new music.

    • builderofcoalitions said, on January 12, 2011 at 1:56 pm

      I’ve slowed down my responses as my traffic is blowing up right now (Thanks, WordPress.), but I had to respond to this comment. Well-put. There isn’t a thing you posted with which I don’t agree. There are way more choices and it is overwhelming yet exciting at the same time. Word of mouth is the best, but I’ve really enjoyed the blogging format (once on Blogger and now here). Thanks for chiming in.

  29. jaredblakedicroce said, on January 12, 2011 at 2:16 pm

    Now that radio’s gone the way of the dinosaurs, i have no exposure to new music… Wish i was more hipster’esque, but I’m just simply not savvy in that way. Way to be true to your roots though.

  30. Cuddlefishes said, on January 12, 2011 at 3:05 pm

    There’s always something going on here Metal town – I would argue far more than what has been going on in Indiesville the last few years.
    If you would like some good-intentioned recommendations, I would be happy to oblige.
    Also, great blog!

  31. meowzersmusings said, on January 12, 2011 at 3:26 pm

    I hear you. From living and breathing underground bands via dating the drummer of a local band, living with people who were in other local bands and living three doors up from the main live music venue that we were at every weekend, I now rarely see live music. Even if the band is one I love, I am often just too tired to stand up at midnight and watch a band play for over an hour on a weeknight. Funnily enough, the last band I saw live was Pavement and it excited me no end as I had been listening to them for 19 years but had never seen them live. I also intend to chase the feeling of being inspired by live music. Good luck on your quest.

  32. educlaytion said, on January 12, 2011 at 3:46 pm

    I think you nailed it with going out to find new bands. There’s just no way to feel that same excitement over groups you’ve been with for so many years. I’m a music fanatic and have been able to see more live shows in the past year than I could during the previous 6. Maybe in a couple years I’ll lose my enthusiasm too. Nice FP.

  33. ZB said, on January 12, 2011 at 3:57 pm

    Does this mean you might actually come see one of the bajillions of Y&G shows that happen every month?

    • builderofcoalitions said, on January 12, 2011 at 4:18 pm

      Maybe. Do you need my mone…Wait. You guys usually play for free, right?

      • Carrie said, on January 12, 2011 at 11:35 pm

        yes we need your money, you cheap bastard.

  34. djbrkndl said, on January 12, 2011 at 4:03 pm

    Hey, I even host and DJ…That is the meaning of it all for good music….you gotta like it. My show consists of old club and dance stuff, and I mix it with D/BA and even Minimal. The older stuff isnt liked then why do they still play it in clubs.

    everyone loves good music.


  35. mamanne said, on January 12, 2011 at 4:11 pm

    I was never a huge music fan… I knew what songs I liked/loved, but couldn’t tell you who the band was… what I get a kick out of now is when my 20-something nephews get all excited over some ‘new’ song they’ve heard, and I’m like “sheez, I listened to that in high school” lol.

  36. aka gringita said, on January 12, 2011 at 4:16 pm

    Your post really reminds me of the Dromedary Records blog ( which spent the first year recapping their journey as an indie label and the way life squeezed that out (the label revived since then, and has a couple of releases out; they let you stream it from their web site if you’re interested).

    In any case, I loved your post & congrats on being Freshly Pressed!

  37. Autism Dad said, on January 12, 2011 at 4:24 pm

    Being 44, I can totally relate. Feel like I’m the old guy at the bar. Still, it doesn’t stop me from writing about music. Congrats on getting Freshly Pressed!

  38. mindslam said, on January 12, 2011 at 4:26 pm

    I wrote something like this back a few months ago on my blog called “Age & Music”….I kinda feel what you are talking about!

  39. annie said, on January 12, 2011 at 4:56 pm

    as an aging music lover at age 30, and a fan of the aforementioned bands of danielson, iron & wine and bright eyes, i do agree. i have been a freak for music for 15 years and worked in the music industry and at times have found myself questioning the current state of music in general. and it is normal for your love of music to lose its luster at times. but it is important not to give up!

    i suggest diving into different genres, or check out some bands on foreign record labels or create an account on and go to these weekend long music festivals like sxsw or any local festivals in your town. there are plenty of ways to be exposed to new stuff without feeling so bogged down of having to search for new music yourself. i list a newly discovered band (by me) on my site once a week. maybe you’ll like some of them 🙂


  40. chunter said, on January 12, 2011 at 5:50 pm

    I know I’m a bit of a different kind of animal just by reading the post, but it bears saying here in case you relate.

    I lost interest in a lot of stuff I liked around the year 2001. There were no more next big things in music or video games and no movies or entertainment that appropriately targeted someone like me, and to top it off I didn’t have much money, so with that I just… stopped buying CDs.

    Instead I started to explore things from my past that I was too busy for (in my case, the music of what is called the demoscene) and I discovered where that went and became interested again.

    Sometimes you have to stop and get your bearings.

  41. rtcrita said, on January 12, 2011 at 5:53 pm

    This post made me smile — a lot! I have gone through the same thing. I just mentioned to my kids, 19 & 16, the other day that I think I am now like one of those older people that just want to listen to their own music from their high school and early 20’s years and nothing else. I find myself constantly in thier rooms saying, “What’s that your listening to? Who sings that?” I try to keep up with what’s new, but most of the time, I just would rather listen to the things I know I like.

    I think you go in and out of that kind of thing as you age. Music still matters — it just doesn’t always take a front row seat in your life anymore, as far as keeping up on what’s current. I’ll always love music, it’s just I narrowed down what I listen to because I like it and not because I have to know and keep up with what is new. Then again, it’s not my job or what I blog about. Here’s to getting your muscial MOJO back!

  42. erhu ianyce said, on January 12, 2011 at 6:42 pm

    hi, I’m in my early 20’s and i usually like to listen to some of the songs in the past decades than those of today. reason why is basically songs from the past is more meaningful than those of today, the melodies of some songs today are a lil bit noisy but sometimes i like them not like that of the past that very soothing and its easy listening to. your definitely right no one is too old for music because even music gets old, maybe its because of our priorities that we make set aside for a while. and like you post. 🙂

    • builderofcoalitions said, on January 12, 2011 at 8:03 pm

      That is how I often feel about older music (15-20 years ago), but there is good stuff out there. Things just seemed dead right now, so I wrote this post. Thanks.

  43. Marcus said, on January 12, 2011 at 7:07 pm

    Good post. I’ll limit my thoughts to what you wrote in the 2nd paragraph. I’m on the high side of age 50 and I’ve never grown out of “it” fully realizing my version of “it”, like everyone else’s, is probably unique. I’ve felt for decades that starting at some point most of whatever was considered current was passing me by. But somehow by keeping an open ear/mind I’ve managed to go back and discover many new joys I missed the first time or even from before my “time”. (50’s/60’s acoustic jazz for instance) I grew up with 60’s Top-40 AM followed by 70’s Progressive FM radio and for years kept a narrow mind thinking it didn’t get any better than those good ol’ days. But over-exposure to classic rock stations eventually caused me to grow weary of hearing the same old tunes and the searching began. I filled the void with classical, ambient, electronica, trip-hop, drum’n’bass, and even some of the 60’s kitsch my parents enjoyed. I feel it matters just as much at 54 as it did at 14 and even though I’m still missing a lot, my musical vocabuliary is broader and deeper than I could have ever imagined. Give yourself another decade or two.

    • builderofcoalitions said, on January 12, 2011 at 8:02 pm

      Thanks. I’ve always wondered whether I’d make it that long (50’s) with this music fanaticism. Your perspective gives me something to which I can look forward.

  44. jim said, on January 12, 2011 at 8:01 pm

    Join the crowd. Music tastes change with time, each generation developing its own likes. It is natural to favor what was new when you first experienced music as a teenager. As you age, you typically think, “How Can People Stand This New Stuff?” I was first exposed to popular music in the era of vocalists (Frank Sinatra, Bing Crosby, Dean Martin, Vaughn Monroe, Margaret Whiting, Dinah Shore, Doris Day, etc) who sang hummable, catchy, easy listening songs with words you could remember. It has been 20 or so years since I’ve heard a new pop song that has caught my fancy. My solution: I write my own songs in the style I like.

  45. thekarmamortgage said, on January 12, 2011 at 8:17 pm

    I’m only 25, so not old, but I do understand getting burnt out on music. Not to chalk it up to depression, but sometimes when I lose passion for the big things in my life like music, it is a direct reflection of how my life is going. Something to consider. I also play a lot of background music like Pandora while I’m working or reading or even running. Occasionally, something stands out to me and I’ll research that band and eventually buy their album. Another thing I thought about while reading your post is the decline of the album. People buy songs off Itunes, but not neccessarily albums like record buyers like yourself. I wonder if that contributes to a lot of crap music in the oversaturated market.

  46. Rick Allen said, on January 12, 2011 at 8:18 pm

    I think the first step is acknowledging that the impact music had on your life has waned, and rightfully so. As you wrote, you are never too old for music, but there comes a time when you are too old to make music your life, assuming that you are not making a living off of it.

    Buying records, following bands and trends, and going to shows are the purview of the young and minimally responsible. You can talk about passion and blah, blah, blah all you want, but what music honestly boils down to is a glorified hobby, and unlike golf or counting cards, one that likely isn’t going to do you much good once you are past 30.

    Waning interest is natural, and I would argue borderline important if you plan on growing as a person. A rabid interest in music hits somewhere between 12 and 14-years old for most, right about the same time as the jarring physical and emotional changes of puberty, an interest in the opposite sex and overriding questions of personal identity. Music provides solace for all of these, a place for a young mind to escape to, and an opportunity to feel part of something bigger and cooler than the suburban bullshit you have to deal with in high school.

    This is why teenagers get into pop music, be it Pavement or Green Day or the Cure or Cheap Trick or whatever. Kids don’t get into anything much deeper than what immediately satisfies their emotional needs, and honestly, the adults that remain obsessive about music don’t travel that far either. I have a passing interest in jazz and avant garde music, but honestly can’t tell you why anymore than I simply like the sounds. Much more of my collection is taken up by Guided by Voices, and I have listened to those records many, many more times than anything more challenging.

    I still enjoy listening to music, catching live bands, and feeling like I play some part in the local scene. It is just now, I have more important things to do most of the time, and honestly, I don’t want to be the last one at the party or the old guy at the all ages show. I had my fun, and music was a big part of that fun, but the time to move on was years ago. I beat my head against that wall too many times trying to make it 1995 again, and I am glad to have finally accepted that life goes on.

    If you feel you really need to get, as Homer Simpson put it, back in the groove, feel free, but I don’t think that you are in recovery. I think that you are in denial.

    That being said, I still want you to review one of my old tapes, once I get the blog up and running.

    Love and kisses,
    Rick Allen

  47. Aaron said, on January 12, 2011 at 8:35 pm

    If you’re still buying music at the CD store, it’s a good sign you’ve become too old. Why don’t you preview music made by the band on YouTube or before you purchase it. Saves you time and money.

    You can also purchase from iTunes, I believe they have a preview of each song too, and it ends up being cheaper than buying a CD. On a CD you don’t get to choose what songs you want so you pay for all of them, on iTunes you choose exactly what you want.

    Music fills the spirit, don’t let it go!

  48. jamieaaron03 said, on January 12, 2011 at 8:39 pm

    maybe it’s just the music you are listening to thats
    getting ya down. Search out something different to listen

  49. thesatoristory said, on January 12, 2011 at 8:44 pm

    There is so much great music out there, I promise! Don’t
    give up! Have you heard new Joanna Newsom or The Black Keys?
    Yeasayer, Tennis, The Walkmen? Tame Impala, Avi Buffalo? I listen
    to satellite radio a lot and I find lots of good music there. New
    The Decemberists is coming out, and what I’ve heard so far is
    really good. Don’t forget Built To Spill. They are still around and
    touring. I also find a lot of bands by just going to shows at small
    clubs, I don’t care if I have ever heard of a band or not, I just
    go … you would be surprised what you can find … You say that
    you are married, I think that discovering new music with your wife
    would be really really cool. Get a babysitter and just go ouand and

    • Tim McKamey said, on January 13, 2011 at 6:02 am

      What is it with everyone and ‘bands’? Like if it isn’t a
      ‘band’ it isn’t music? Have you explored the percussion music of
      tribal cultures in South America and Africa? How about David Hykes
      Harmonic Choir? Or Edgar Varese’s Musica Concrete and early
      electronic music from the 40s and 50s? Don’t you realize that
      ‘bands’ are little more than products generated by recording
      conglomerates who only want to manage sales by convincing you that
      “you must consume what is current, or else your life is not worth
      shit?” Good grief! Do you actually believe that if you purchase
      Budweiser that a bevy of beautiful babes will show up in your yard
      and cater to your every whim? Don’t let the industrialization of
      music destroy your innate aesthetic ability to feel. You need to
      cast a much, much wider net, and maybe get some new

      • Niki said, on April 10, 2011 at 6:51 am

        @Tim: Can I say that your comment blows the hell of my mind in a very positive, encouraging way? Your logical conclusion has seriously SAVED me & my screwed-up gutter-perspectives about “what Music is” and “being a Musician is”.
        and for that, I can’t thank you enough.
        I swear if I can buy you a glass (or two, or three!) of beer right now, I would!
        and this is coming from a 28-yrs old music-lover (& musician as well!) from a faraway corner of the Earth called Indonesia 🙂

  50. thesatoristory said, on January 12, 2011 at 8:45 pm

    PS love the cartoon!

  51. Howlin' said, on January 12, 2011 at 9:22 pm

    Old aging sucks in so many ways, but so does desperately trying to be hip. If you’re not inspired by new music, so what – enjoy what you like.
    I gave up going to see big bands a long time ago (last must have been Suede on the Coming Up tour) because I found even ones that I enjoyed on record/CD boring live. Instead I just started to watch local or unknow bands passing through town – a million times more exciting than lame overpriced stadium gigs. Some of those gigs are the best I’ve ever been to. A pity that many of the bands never get to record, but it’s not the size of your record/CD collection that counts, it’s the quality of the experience and the memories.

  52. Desmond LaVelle said, on January 12, 2011 at 10:03 pm

    I have similar fears about not staying current. I’ve done a pretty good job but have stumbled in the past couple years. My theory is this: you can try to resist by being that guy who is determined to like “cool” music well into your forties, but sometimes we just grow old.

    Don’t worry, you can still be that semi hip old guy who listens to an aged Iron & Wine.

  53. […] old/young topic keeps coming up this week.  One of the freshly pressed blogs this week ( is all about whether the blogger is too old for music.  Excuse me?  Too old for music?  […]

  54. James W said, on January 12, 2011 at 10:24 pm

    Great cartoon and great post.
    I was having a beer the other night and was thinking come on man rock music and wasting time thats what you do when your 17 grow up.
    Then it dawned on me I have grown up and when I have finished doing grown up things its very much time to Rock n Roll..
    Never to old mate and all the cool kids at school their Dads have great albums!

  55. Rod said, on January 12, 2011 at 10:54 pm

    As a kid and growing up I was sort of a weirdo at home. Nobody could shut off the radio when I was around. I* enjoyed music while reading, studying whatever. Yeah, sort of a dual core processor in me.

    The last pieces I bought was in 1991 [Michael Jacksons,Whitney Houstons, Mariah Careys, Wilson Philips, Gloria Estefans, Phil Collins…NKTB…]. Does not mean I lost interest in Music, though. I just turned to what my growing kids brought home.

    You must be getting old at a younger age of 30s.

    I noticed I have been deaf to Music all around me everyday, since I’ve come to my 50s. I was a computer illiterate and came late. The internet must have changed my world!

    I have a neighbor across the street who is in his 70s. And his stereo always blare. I like that. But not some youngsters who do not really like him. I guess it is his Music [Frank Sinatras, Matt Monroes etc] which are perfectly well with me.

    Dont get old too young. 😉

  56. S G Nelson said, on January 12, 2011 at 11:06 pm

    To me it doesn’t sound like you’re losing interest in music – you’re just losing interest in shitty music which is what constitutes all of the stuff you mentioned. Why don’t you just start listening to real music like Brahms?

  57. elenamusic said, on January 12, 2011 at 11:52 pm

    Very interesting. I heard that some rock radio stations
    being referred to as “1996” because a lot of people who like rock
    music, like rock music from the 90s and they’re kind of stuck
    there. It seems like the rock scene has dispersed… to where? I
    think a good place to look is podcasts. They’re free and it’s kind
    of like a new type of radio station for indie artists. I suggest
    you check out (if you have not already) “KEXP: Song of the Day”
    podcast on iTunes. I have a feeling you might like it. And if not,
    please tell me just the same.

  58. lessonstobelearned462 said, on January 13, 2011 at 1:09 am

    I completely understand what you mean! But at least your
    35, I’m at the tender age of 13! It’s not us, it’s the music we are
    expected to listen to. It’s shit. Justin bieber has destroyed our
    music industry! What happened to the music from the ninites? And
    can it come back again?

  59. youngcleanlegit said, on January 13, 2011 at 1:17 am

    Whenever I feel like I’m getting sick of everything, I go
    to the library and check out some random stuff that I normally
    wouldn’t listen to. Right now, I’ve got some Chinese flute music,
    polka, and big band going. It gives you a break from everything,
    and oftentimes you find something you didn’t know you liked. I
    never would have thought that I could enjoy polka, but somehow I
    do. You never know.

  60. John Pablo said, on January 13, 2011 at 1:52 am

    Did you draw the aging hipster? If so, I’d love to see some
    more illustrations! They’re wonderful. I’m subscribing to this blog
    – well I think I am – I’m trying to get the hang of this wordpress
    thing. I’m pretty new to this site =/ I always appreciate new
    friends! Visit if you want:

  61. Samantha said, on January 13, 2011 at 2:08 am

    I really dig the idea of a “shotgun battle of the bands” –
    it looks like you’ve got lots of avenues in mind to explore for new
    (good) music! I, on the other hand, am looking back to find good
    music… I’m admittedly rather under-informed about the music
    greats, so I’ve just started a project called The Immortals and Me,
    where I’m going to spend one week listening to each of Rolling
    Stone Magazine’s 100 Greatest Artists of All Time
    ( Lee ‘Scratch’ Perry’s
    thrumming some sweet dub sounds into my ears as we speak!

  62. Single Malt Monkey said, on January 13, 2011 at 2:08 am

    There’s a lot of “I’m so-and-so ” age here so here
    goes………….I’m 57 and have been feeling your pain for some
    years ! I’ve also recently moved to a backwoods town which is not
    helping search out new live music. Anyway, you just got to dig in
    and keep your ear to the ground. (As I’m sure you do,being a
    committed music fan,though questioning your commitment 🙂 ). I love
    the web for searching new stuff. I started clicking the 30 second
    samples of “World” music and found some really great stuff by
    accident. Loving music is a good life journey. I’m glad to see
    you’ve also got your “Carp Filter” on, though. You can part with a
    lot of cash if you’re not careful. Keep us posted on the good stuff
    you find.

  63. bluntfarce said, on January 13, 2011 at 2:22 am

    I played in bands for 12 years. My last one ended when I
    was 32. I always played-out more than I collected records, so
    ‘losing music’ for me literally meant not playing in bands anymore.
    It is a tricky transition. I still play music, and have gotten
    deeper into the creation of ‘sounds’ etc, and I enjoy the listening
    options that now put new bands in my path almost accidentally (like … but time marches on. You know you don’t want to be
    the guy in the back of the club that everyone thinks is either a
    narc or ‘someone’s dad’ …you especially don’t want them thinking
    that while you’re on stage. And even if you ARE somehow able to
    “keep up” with all the new (and usually under-whelming) music, no
    one is going to be impressed. Not your contemporaries and certainly
    not the new generation of young/coolsters who’ll just roll their
    eyes at the ‘old guy who is still trying to sound cool’, I
    know, but it is the truth. Best to just keep doing the things you
    like for YOU.

  64. nathan said, on January 13, 2011 at 2:24 am

  65. Gabriel Ivan Rhoe said, on January 13, 2011 at 4:23 am

    when i reach 35, i might be like you. hehehehe.

  66. Tim McKamey said, on January 13, 2011 at 5:51 am

    I would agree with SG Nelson, but raise that to “why don’t
    you break out of the narrow genre you’ve been living in all these
    years?” Which is to say, you need to get out more often. I’ve
    listened to every kind of music there is all my life and I’m still
    discovering new ones, (except I don’t care for opera), so I doubt
    that I will ever lose interest, there is such a variety of
    offerings, blends, hybrids, crossovers, etc.. Everything you named
    is about 100 thousandth of the sound possibilities that exist out
    there. People get addicted to what they are familiar with, and you
    know what familiarity breeds? (contempt). I don’t know how to
    recommend you develop a taste for new unexplored genres, because I
    was just always naturally curious. Good luck!

  67. purnellmeagrejr said, on January 13, 2011 at 6:59 am

    You have to wait until your kids are old enough to put you
    onto good new stuff. I’m 58 with a 17 year old and a 19 year old
    and they’ve turned me onto to all kinds of good music.

  68. Jason Tonio Woerner said, on January 13, 2011 at 7:10 am

    Watching college age hipsters talk about bands makes me
    really glad I’m deaf.

  69. Thenewcomer said, on January 13, 2011 at 7:52 am

    For me, discovering “new” muscic seems to be finding “old”
    artists whi have been around for decades and everybody knew except
    me. Case in point: Blue Oyster Cult.
    Just because some music is recent or nor not doesn’t say anything
    about its quality. “Keeping up”- or listening to music simply
    because it’s new- I don’t necessarily see that as something to be
    proud of… Give me stuff which is true and tried…

  70. jordan said, on January 13, 2011 at 9:00 am

    I absolutely love music. I’m young and still able to follow the trends as of today, but even in high school I still had phases to where music was just too much for me at times. So this might not be a losing interest for you, but like you said it’s a time to slow down some. Maybe this is just a phase and things will pick back up in a while.

  71. Richard said, on January 13, 2011 at 10:08 am

    I’m pretty sure I’m older than you, but I can never imagine myself *EVER* feeling as you apparently did as you wrote this.

    Have you considered listening to the radio for music? I don’t mean clear channel crap. I mean actual, real radio with music chosen and played by living human beings making the selections in real time from vinyl and CD library collections (also, maybe ye olde magnetic tape, in some stations).

    Of course there is my own,

    I’ve never stumbled into any MO radio stations I can recommend, but I’m sure there are prolly at least a few. In addition to my home station, I frequent the webstreams of KALX in Berkeley, KUOI in Moscow, WMBR in Cambridge, WUSC in Columbia (SC), KAOS in Olympia, WNUR and WHPK in Chicago… My radio list goes on, but they’re all real radio stations, pre-internet, and at least in the case of WXYC and KALX (as well as KUOI, WMBR, and WUSC, I’m pretty sure) music is actively, interactively chosen and played. By a human. Not some randomizing computer program.

    I really can not imagine ever thinking or feeling I’m too old for music.

    Live djs at good stations can introduce you to stuff in a much better framework than yourself, alone, cruising online sites that exist solely to turn a profit for one specific entity. Also, I enjoy cruising real stations across the world with webstreams, because it gives me a window into individual “scenes.” Hmmm… this reminds me I need to listen to that Bellingham station a little more frequently.

    fwiw, that show you got coming up next Wednesday @ Mojo’s looks to be more than worthy, especially for free. Reptar can be a lot of fun, and Haii Usagi is likewise good. The other band, I’ve not seen/don’t know, but you’re batting at least 2-for-3, if not 3-for-3.

    Maybe you oughta explore the harsh noise scene for awhile? Everything you’ve listed all kinda falls in this sort of similar-sounding-indie bucket. No wonder you’re bored. Some harsh noise oughta jolt you outta yr rut, if you really wanna set out on a new path.

    In conclusion: Haii Usagi/Reptar = yes; explore harsh noise; avoid any recordings that use auto-tune in the process; (“Non-Commercial Educational”) NCE radio stations rule, especially WXYC.

    P.S. To Rick Allen: all of us who never lost our feeling and enthusiasm for music are glad that you won’t continue dragging your aging poser bum to shows anymore. Please understand that it’s been my observation that people over 35 still enthusiastically going to shows do this because they still feel it, unlike you, Rick Allen, who would merely be trying to re-capture something you never had in the first place. So Rick, from the Dick who’s still quite happy to get in a pit, screw a bunch of presumptious “mature” “elder statesmen”; I’m only sorry you can’t feel what I feel.

    • Niki said, on April 10, 2011 at 7:19 am

      love what you said to Rick Allen. what a proof!
      Amen, preach on brother.

  72. hunter71 said, on January 13, 2011 at 1:46 pm

    My parents listens to the radio with my sisters and I and are very current with the music we like. We love it when they play songs from when they grew up. Most of the songs are really good and we listen to them over and over again. Best of luck to you! Hunter71 🙂

  73. […] page views, nearly ten times my highest total for an entire week happened in one day! I wrote about the struggles of growing older and losing touch with the music scene. A pretty simple concept, really. The post somehow made it onto WordPress’s Freshly Pressed […]

  74. Local Music for Local People | Ells' Blog said, on January 14, 2011 at 7:09 am

    […] post is kind of inspired by a post by Builder of Coalitions discussing his changing relationship with music as he gets older, and the comment that I made that […]

  75. ~the dish~ said, on January 14, 2011 at 7:58 am

    I absolutely feel your pain. However, in all fairness, there is some really horrible music out there now that’s in the forefront of the media. So, as much as you feel like you’re out of the loop, you’re really not missing much. And kudo’s to you for staying committed to finding the good music out there now!! you may feel like it’s passing you up, but don’t worry you’re right there with it where it matters.

  76. squarebrackets said, on January 14, 2011 at 8:38 pm

    I’m always afraid that music will one day no longer cheer me up and will just be noise.

  77. […] or doing an outdoor gig in the fall or spring, but that’s almost not enough these days. (See this post.) 6This list is very long, but instead of naming the breweries who refuse us their delicious beers, […]

  78. […] Rock Show Even though my Freshly Pressed post claimed that attending more local rock shows is the way to get back into music, I skipped out on a […]

  79. Benjamin said, on January 26, 2011 at 6:18 pm

    I’m actually kind of excited to see Tokyo Police Club. They opened for Passion Pit at the Pageant over the summer and I thought it was pretty good. I picked up their most recent album and was pleasantly surprised, since I wasn’t really into the EP that made them famous.

  80. […] about time I got out to see some bands this year. I had pledged to get out more, but it just hadn’t happened. Due to weather[1], my dwindling bank account, and lack of […]

  81. […] this collection has allowed me to learn a thing or two about the local scene, helping to fulfill a promise I once made myself. This look into a band’s life allows for my appreciation to be personal. I can get to know […]

  82. […] to finish the post. As you can see, I’m getting pretty deep into the local scene here as promised. It’s really sparked my overall interest in music lately. Surprisingly, it’s actually […]

  83. […] not listening to something else, possibly something new. It’s easy to fall into ruts, wondering whether or not you have the energy to pursue new music. We should branch out now and again with our listening habits. Even when I lump all of the music I […]

  84. […] longtime readers (Are there really that many of you/them?), you may remember that this blog’s biggest post was the one I wrote inspired by a strange night at a show. The post itself wondered if I was […]

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